The Myth of the Independent Woman

the Gold Digger 

Vs. Miss Independent

In response to my articles and Facebook posts dealing with the concept of "independent women," some people have asked what is wrong with encouraging women to be independent? I argue nothing if it is placed in the proper context. 

Rap music’s depiction of independent women got off to a positive start in 1989, when rapper Roxanne Shanté debuted her “Independent Woman." The song explored relationships and admonished women not to buy into the fairy tale that a man will always take care of them or the idea that they should pamper men who do not reciprocate their affections. 

However, many of today’s popular songs often suggest that a woman should be flawless, physically fit, wealthy and able to handle family, children and housework alone. It is unusual for a person to be gifted in so many areas.  In addition, the songs often suggest that women are either gold diggers or independent. There is not a happy medium. 

I am concerned about the lyrics because listeners, particularly young ones, may try to live up to such unrealistic standards, which encourage materialism, mainstream ideals of beauty and superwoman skills. 

Additionally, they do not place the same high standards on men. In fact, many songwriters admit to being an average guy or even a thug who desires someone independent, beautiful, well educated and “able to overlook his ways.” 

Parents and educators should prepare girls to be independent, but they should make clear that “independence” as depicted in popular music is not the ideal for every woman, especially those with children and jobs. Independence includes creating a happy medium in life, which includes balancing family, relationships, home and employment. People should not believe they have to be perfect in every way to be independent.